When I was growing up people warned kids about strangers. Don't get into a stranger's car. Don't go off with a stranger. Sexual predators aren't always strangers. They can be family members or friends of the family. Sexual predators don't even have to be adults, they can be 14-year-olds in the hallway at school.
My years in junior high school were a nightmare. A group of boys would cluster near my locker and from time to time their ring leader harassed me. He would make comments about my body and the rest of them would laugh. I thought if I ignored them they would get bored and stop, but as time progressed his comments became more frequent and more sexually explicit.
My response to all of this was to wear baggy clothes to hide my body. I carried my notebook in front of my chest like it was a protective shield. I learned the art of dodging and darting to avoid these guys. I went through three years of always being anxious and always on the lookout. I was embarrassed and didn't know how to tell my parents what was happening.
The situation escalated at the end of 9<sup>th</sup> grade when the leader slammed me up against a locker and knocked my notebook from my arms. He began touching me and trying to undo my clothes. I managed to shove him away from me and I ran. I hid in a bathroom crying hysterically. Eventually I went to the nurse telling her I was sick and she sent me home. My mom kept asking me what was wrong, but all I could do was cry and tell her I didn't feel well. I wasshocked at what had happened and I felt ashamed. Soon after that, the school year was over. I started high school and never saw that guy again. I never told anyone what had happened until years later.
Years later, I was having a reunion with 4 high school friends when one of them mentioned this guy's name. I had a strong emotional reaction just hearing his name and I blurted out my story. There was a brief uncomfortable silence, but then came the shocker. Two of my friends shared similar experiences about the same guy. Although these assaults significantly impacted each of us, none of us had reported him or told our parents.
Some people would not classify the event I described as a "sexual assault", rather “boys being boys.” Some people would not classify this boy as a “sexual predator.” From my perspective he was. I felt violated and traumatized by this event for quite a long time. No kid should have to experience such things and feel that way. I have no children, but I can imagine the worries and fears that parents have. Here are some resources that may help protect your kids:
- Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website
- State Sex Offender Registries
- Preventing Sexual Abuse: What Parents Can Do
- Sexual Abuse Prevention Programs
- Protecting Your Child
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